Most of my childhood, I was relatively thin. Not skin and bones skinny, but a filled out thin. To put it bluntly, I could eat whatever I wanted and I didn't gain weight.
That all did, however, catch up to me in the 7th grade when the start of puberty hit and I got a little plump. That continued until my freshman year and then like magic, the weight melted off and I was pretty thin. Now, in today's standards, I was still overweight, despite wearing a size 5. But relatively speaking, I was pretty stacked, considering that I was well endowed in other areas. LOL During my senior year, I started to pack on a few pounds though, crept up to a size 8. By the time I had my first real full-time job, I was in the double digits. I still remember the day one of the guys at work came in and said that I was getting the "operator spread" (I was a F-18 flight simulator operator) and that it was time for me to start losing weight. After I got done crying, I got myself a gym membership and worked out like crazy, putting myself on a low-fat diet (I limited myself to 20 grams of fat per day...I barely ate) and got back down to a size 8. By the time I hit 22, the weight was starting to come back, despite not changing my eating habits all that much. I got checked out and I was diagnosed as being
hypothyroid. Great, like I needed another obstacle with losing weight. I got on
Synthroid and I figured that the weight would just fall off, but it didn't. I kept growing and growing, so much that they had to take my wedding dress out 1.5 inches. After getting married, my weight just kept going up (especially after the wedding blues set in) and my marriage kind of stalled out. After 5 years of marriage, of which I had started at 140 pounds, I was 210 pounds. My husband left me and I dropped 20 pounds from depression...then he came back and we settled into our normal routine of just sitting around. My weight came back on. It didn't help that I had a horribly stressful job and tons of overweight friends to keep me company...we happily went out to lunch every day and stuffed our faces.
About a year after my daughter was born, my neighbor invited me on her twice daily walks and within 2 weeks, I had lost 10 pounds. I kept that up and within 4 months, I had
lost 45 pounds total and got down to a nice 155. I was very proud of myself and maintained my weight for over a year. Then the next hurdle of my life happened in September 2004 when I quit smoking. I opted for the "ice cream replacement diet" and easily packed on 15 pounds in 2 months. I was so upset over my weight gain that I just gave up and started eating everything in sight. We went on vacation and ate out almost every meal...after that I had gained another 10 pounds. Again, approaching my highest weight. I was mortified, but felt helpless and just kept eating.
In June 2005, I got a gym membership and started working out 6 days a week, for 1.5 hours a day. I dropped 9 pounds..but then started to reward myself with the "I work out, I can eat THIS" way of thinking and I gained it all back, plus more.
But now I plan on changing that. I'm tired of being the fat girl. Out of all my friends, I'm the heaviest. I'm tired of thinking that I'm not good enough because I am. I need to do this for me.
As of today, I weigh 178 pounds. Pants 16, Shirts XL. BMI 29.6 (
25.0 – 29.9 =Overweight)
My target weight : 140. My ultimate goal weight : 130
